The Extra Merc
by DeadpooltheCat
Summary: Deadpool is contracted to protect the Hellsing estate, which promises loads of money if the contract is fulfilled, knowing our Merc he doesn't like being told what to do. How will the Hellsing organization handle this Man? How will the other Mercs handle him?
1. Chapter 1

_**Here it is! Hellsing and Deadpool crossover, there will be bloodshed and I have the freedom to let Deadpool's character loose and not be restricted. But enough talk I'm sure you guys want to read this I present to you the new story, The Extra Merc. One last thing, bitches love cannons! #Thecrimsonfuckr**_

"Alright let's see what we got here..."

Deadpool said scrolling through a list of contracts that stand out from others, but could sadly not find any to his liking.

"Goddammit. Nothing here."

Deadpool heard something being slid under his door, he went out and passed a box that said 'Not Porn!' He picked up the letter and read the front.

"Hellsing Organization blah blah who cares?"

He tore the letter open and his sane side read the letter.

**( Wade Wilson we have hired you to-) **but his crazier side interrupted (

Skip all that! Read the bottom!)

"You will be payed..." Deadpool's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat, all that money just to protect the some estate? Damn right he was in!

"Guess where we're going? To London baby!"

Deadpool yelled and quickly grabbed every weapon and somehow stuffed it into a suitcase that magically appeared.

(So just defend some dumb estate? That's it?).

**(I don't know something smells fishy and it's not the Sushi we had last night.) **

(Shut it stuffy! This is our chance.)

"Damn right it is! One last thing."

Deadpool said picking up a pouch.

"How could I ever forget my magic satchel?"

**(Are we ready?)**

"Yep ready yourself reader! I'm about to blow your fucking mind!"

We head over to London and find Integra Hellsing and Walter C. Dornez in her office Integra lites her cigarette and asks Walter a question

"Were you able to get him Walter?"

"Yes Sir Integra, he was a bit difficult to find, he responded rather quickly to our contract."

"Good. Hopefully he'll be of a good use to this organization."

"If I may Sir, he is known to not follow orders, but does fill out the contract one way or another."

"Don't worry Walter I'll make sure he follows everything to the letter."

"I hope so Sir."

We skip to Deadpool in a private plane enjoying it's luxuries

**(How did we get this again?) **

"Well..." Scene skips to just 2 hours ago before Deadpool entered the plane. Deadpool approaches two pilots who are about to board the plane.

"Excuse me. Could you fly me to London? I gotta get somewhere and I currently don't have the money, or don't want to spend it at least."

One of the pilots spoke to him

"I'm sorry sir but we can't do that..."

"Oh really?"

Deadpool brought out his gun and shot the pilot in the head.

"Ya see that? That's what will happen if you don't fly me to London, right now."

The pilot was shivering in fear Deadpool pointed the gun to his head.

"Fly or die asshole your choice."

Deadpool said menacingly. The pilot obeyed and got into the plane with Deadpool still aiming the gun at him. We then skip to the present in which Deadpool was telling the story.

"Ah what a nice guy."

**(So what's our plan?)**

"Simple. When we get to the Hellsing Manor we'll just protect it all badass like, eat our Chimichangas, then get paid, go home and relax."

(This is so well thought out!)

"It's flawless what could go wrong?"

Apparently the pilot who was driving Deadpool towards London decided to rebel against him rushed out shoved Deadpool who tripped over his suitcase, The pilot quickly got a parachute and jumped off the plane leaving Deadpool alone in the plane.

"The Fuck!? Where do you think you're going?"

Deadpool began shooting the parachute and it left five holes in it the man began screaming as he fell towards the ground.

"Dumbass, alright no problem I've flown the Blackbird before this should be easy."

**(We crashed when we tried to fly it.)**

(Hey what does that red button do?)

"You mean this one?"

Deadpool pressed the red button and suddenly he was going faster than normal a bit too fast.

"Who installed this?!"

(Hey I see London! And the estate!)

"Alright now we just got to calmy land beside the Manor and-"

Deadpool crashed far away beside the manor which caught everyone's attention in the Hellsing Manor.

"Walter what was that?"Integra asked.

"I believe that was Mr. Wade arriving here." He responded

We then see Deadpool rising from the flames behind him

"I'm here bitches!" Deadpool said "We're gonna have lots of fun..."

_**Are you guys excited about this story? This is just the intro for those that haven't read my other story. Anyway hope you guys enjoyed please leave reviews and suggestions on what I could do with the story and add some of your ideas this is DeadpooltheCat, have a good day/night **_**:)'**


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting the Hellsings

_**Here it is, the second chapter of **__**The Extra Merc**__**, I forgot to mention this is based on the remake of the anime: Hellsing Ultimate, episode 3, but some things will be altered, just saying, but enough I'm sure you guys want to read the story.**_

"Men listen up!"

The leader of The Wild Geese, Pip Bernadotte told his men, whilst smoking a cigarette.

"We weren't the only ones hired by the Hellsing Organization, there is another mercenary that was hired, that crash was probably him arriving here."

"Wait just one mercenary? whats so special about him?" asked a member of The Wild Geese.

"I don't know but…" Pip paused grabbing another cigarette, threw the other on the floor and lit the new one. "We're about to find out."

**Meanwhile in the Hall Of Stupidity…**

(OUR SCROTUM!)

"Oh god...give it a sec...and we're back in business!"

**(That deserves to be on our list of Most Painful Events) **

"For a second I felt like a female. So this is it huh?"

(I thought for sure it would be bigger.)

**(Wrong house buddy.)**

(Oh…)

"I don't know about you guys, but this is one hell of impression we just made."

(Fo sho!)

"Hey, you! With the big ass gun don't shoot! I'm a friendly!"

A voice suddenly was heard. "Stand down, Police Girl."

The Woman known as 'Police Girl' reluctantly put her gun down.

"Was all this necessary?"Integra asked, gesturing to the destruction behind Deadpool.

"Well it's a long story, actually no it's not. So this guy-who was so kind to fly me to london-was like "I'm gonna crash this plane!" and I was like "NOOOOOO!" and then he jumped off, flipping me off while he did, so I shot the bitches parachute and he, uh, 'Safely' landed on the ground then I crashed here."

Integra closed her eyes and pointed towards the destroyed Plane. "You're going to clean this up, and after you're done, meet me in my office, Police Girl, if you were so kindly to watch him and make sure he doesn't get into trouble."

"Yes Sir!"Police Girl saluted. Deadpool walked towards the entrance going past 'Police Girl' catching her attention.

"Hey where are you going? clean up the mess!"

Deadpool didn't even look back. "What mess?"

He responded 'Police Girl' looked towards the Plane but found it wasn't there anymore."What?! It's gone? Hey hold up!"

'Police Girl' rushed towards Deadpool.

"Oh yeah by the way, where is your Boss' office?"Deadpool asked

"I'll take you to her." 'Police Girl' told Deadpool.

On the way there Deadpool had to ask 'Police Girl' something. "So…" Deadpool started.

"What's your real name?"

"Only if you tell me first." 'Police Girl' responded.

"Oh? Alright then, it's Deadpool. AKA Wade Wilson."

"Seras Victoria is my name, but they just call me 'Police Girl' here."She responded

"Why? Wait-wait! Don't tell me or else the author is going to write an origin story." Deadpool said.

"The...Author?" Seras questioned.

"Yeah you know the guy who's writing this right now, and everything we're saying."

**"Deadpool they don't know I exist." I told him. **

"Wait, what? Oh great, now you just made me look crazy."

'This man is totally insane!' Seras thought.

"You can just tell me you know, I can hear your thoughts." Deadpool told her.

"How did you-"

"Know what you were thinking? Oh look, we're here."

Deadpool casually strolled into Integra's office and approached her, Seras stayed near the doorway.

"So, mind telling me what's going on?"

Deadpool asked Integra, she smirked at this.

"You may act like a idiot, but you sure can't be fooled." She said

"So two vampires where's the other one?"Deadpool asked.

"He'll appear when, he feels the time is right." Integra informed him.

"Alright I guess we're done here, Imma go eat some Chimichangas and find, kill, and teabag a vampire, see all of you schmucks later." Deadpool left the office and proceeded down a long hallway, but saw a crack in one of the walls.

"Huh, someone didn't do their job right."

**(It's obviously a hidden passage way, we should go explore.) **

(I bet that's where they have all of their money hidden!)

Deadpool put his fingers between the cracks and pushed to his left revealing a passage of stairs that descended underground.

"This should be good…" Deadpool said, and proceeded to go down the stairs. When he finally reached the bottom he was meet with a empty dark, brick, room with only a chair in the middle, with a man sitting on it, Deadpool would describe him as a 'Ozzy Osbourne looking motherfucker', who was currently looking at Deadpool. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds.

"So you're here, huh?" Deadpool said.

"Yes it's been awhile hasn't it Deadpool?" The vampire known as Alucard said.

"Last time it ended in a draw, but I've gotten better and I'm sure I can whoop your ass!" Deadpool told him.

"But I've improved as well, and I assure you, it won't be a draw next time." Alucard said.

"But unfortunately I haven't been given an order by my master to do anything to you."

"So you two know each other then?" Integra said walking down the stairs with Seras and Walter right behind her.

"Yes my master, we fought a couple 30 years ago, and it turned out to be a draw in the end." Alucard said.

"A draw?!" Integra asked, shocked by his words. "With all restrictions off?"

"Yes, the most entertaining fight I've had to say."

Everyone was shocked by Alucards words, except Deadpool. This man was able to fight Alucard to a draw and still lived, so how Powerful is he?

"Welp, it's been fun, but I've got things to do, like meeting the other mercs, and protecting the mansion, so...yeah."

Deadpool used his teleporter to get out of that underground room before Integra could ask anything. This made Seras more interested in Deadpool, the strongest vampire beaten to a draw, by a mercenary?

**Meanwhile with Deadpool…**

(So how about that Seras chick, huh?)

**(Remember that vampire movie, where the guy vampire was having sex, with the girl vampire by biting her?)**

(Oh...well that bites! Get it?)

"Enough with your puns, besides if she wasn't a vampire I'd already be 'tapping that'."

"Well if it isn't the new mercenary."

Deadpool found himself in the doorway where all of the mercenaries have gathered and looked at the person who was talking.

"And you are?" Deadpool asked.

"Pip Bernadotte, leader of this mercenary group that you are currently looking at."

"So is this quite the job, eh?" Deadpool said, looking at Pip.

"You know killing vampires and such, stabbing them in the heart and shoving Garlic down their throats." He said, leaning on wall.

"Vampires? what's he on about?" asked a group member.

"I don't know how to put this so I'll give it to you straight. We're here to get rid of monsters." Pip said

"Get rid of monsters?" Asked another member.

"It's true." Integra said walking in to the room. "Your enemy is a vampire who gains immortality by drinking human blood. Our job is to carry around Garlic and holy water, put a wooden stake in it's heart, chop off it's head, burn it's corpse, and sprinkle it's ashes at the crossroads. For information read your Bram Stoker." Integra finished

"That's ridiculous." A member with glasses on said.

"There's no such things as vampires." A blonde chubby mercenary said.

"You just don't know about them. Or to be more precise,you've never been told. Formed over 100 years ago, our royal order of religious knights, Hellsing...has been working in secret for a long time with the intended purpose of fighting vampires. If you still don't get it, take a good look for yourselves!" Integra said pointing towards Seras, who was in the corner with the goofiest smile plastered on her face. Deadpool snorted,

"You couldn't have gotten Alucard or something?" He asked.

"Just wait." Integra said. Deadpool shrugged and watched.

"What?!" Pip said rising out of his chair. "Hold on a sec, you're a vampire?" He asked.

"Yes, well...I guess I am." Everyone was silent and then started to laugh at Seras, she looked harmless what could she possibly do?

"They're laughing at me aren't they?" Seras said pointing towards the laughing mercenaries.

"Then why don't you show them some proof, Police Girl?" Integra said.

"Roger! Please go ahead."

She said snapping her fingers. Pip laughed while pointing at her. "If she's a vampire, then I'm Frankenstein."

Seras then smacked Pip's forehead with her finger, causing him to bleed, she smacked him three more times before his body went flying towards the mercenary group. Deadpool burst out laughing and didn't stop until Pip got back up, from the beating Pip just received.

"Captain!" A member yelled.

"She's a monster! I didn't even see it coming, not even a sign! She just poked me in the forehead and my whole head's swimming. Is she really a vampire?"

"She really is." A supernatural voice said.

"She may be the lowest of the lowest rank, but she's a card-carrying vampire." Alucard said phasing through a wall. The mercenaries started to tremble in fear, except Deadpool of course.

"What a bunch of pussies." Deadpool said. "You think that's scary? Try fighting him in his true form."

Alucard looked at Deadpool. "My thoughts exactly. You think we can use these people?" Alucard said, directing that last line to Integra.

"I'm sorry Miss." Walter said running and stopping next to Integra. "I tried to stop him, but…"

"They're going to be guarding my bed. I wanted to see who they were." He said smiling.

"That aside Miss…" Walter said, showing Integra a letter. "We received this in the mail."

Integra grabbed the letter and read the front.

"The head of the Vatican's Special Operations 13th Division…Iscariot Organization...Enrico Maxwell." She finished reading, sounding shocked.

"Well this has been snooze fest, nothing fun happened, except Pip getting his ass beat by a chick, hilarious by the way. I'll just take a nap on that couch over there and maybe tomorrow I'll kill some vampires."

He said and actually approached the couch and went to sleep almost instantly, a bubble started to form, from his mask, signaling he was actually asleep.

'Ah, Deadpool, man with a Horrible past, yet acts like a mere child and pretends like nothing ever happened. How does he do it?' Alucard thought.

_**That's chapter two guys, I know I took forever to get this chapter uploaded but, you see, well my computer broke down and it didn't want to work anymore so I had to resort to my very old computer and try to rewrite a chapter that I almost finished in my other computer. But anyway hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and expect to get another one very soon. This DeadpooltheCat, please review, and I'll see you guys next time, Peace!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Update to Hellsing and Deadpool fanfiction, been on a break for a couple of months and well...yeah. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, alright let's get this started.**

"I assume you heard?" Walter said.

"Yes, I heard." Alucard responded.

"The Nazis...I can't believe it." Walter said looking out the window in the middle of the night. "I thought I wouldn't hear their name again after 50 years.

Alucard scoffed, "Is it that surprising?"

(What are they talking about?)

**(Maybe we would hear, if you shut the hell up!)**

"Something about Nazis, do we get to kill them too? I should ask Integra."

**(Are you actually talking to yourself right now?)**

"Shutup, I'm trying to listen!"

(Yeah, Shhhhh!)

"Alucard, you and Deadpool are both flying to South America. We're not so kind as to stay out of the ring, when someone's so clearly picked a fight."

"Thats what makes you John Bulls. And it's why you're no longer the power you once were."

Deadpool tried to pay attention he really did, he lost Walter at 'South America', why do they always talk so much? that's one thing Deadpool doesn't like about this job. Deadpool then heard someone coming down the hallway and we he turned to look at who was making this noise he saw Integra.

"Sup Integra?" Deadpool said walking up to her, she simply ignored Deadpool and continued walking towards her office, where Alucard and Walter were currently speaking.

"Don't feel like talking huh?" Deadpool shrugged and walked off, he was a bit tired from doing absolutely nothing in the mansion. Deadpool went to find a couch but saw Seras trying to eat meat in a dining room, but oddly spat a chunk of meat.

**(Right. She is a vampire, eating food is like drinking 'Grape' medicine.)**

"Seras, you do know vampires are supposed to drink blood, and not eat meat right?" Seras looked down at her feet and didn't utter a word.

"Let me guess, you don't want to drink blood do you?" Deadpool said leaning against a wall.

"It's just…." Seras tried to explain.

"All I know is vampires need to drink blood or they become weak. You'll have to do it at some point. Now if you don't mind I'm going to sleep on that lovely couch over there." He said walking off. Seras watched him leave the dining area, with a blank look on her face.

**The Next Day…**

"Will there be anyone I can kill?" Deadpool asked Alucard just before they entered the private plane.

"That is for my master to decide, everything I do is based on her orders." Alucard responded.

"So I have to ask for permission from Integra then?" Deadpool summed up.

"Yes." Alucard plainly said. Deadpool slumped his shoulders and entered the plane with a look that showed how disappointed he was. Deadpool sat on the other side of the plane from where Pip was. Halfway through the trip Pip looked at Alucard briefly, Alucard was holding a glass cup with wine, he looked like he was enjoying was holding a touchscreen phone in his hand he was playing flappy bird, his high score was 1.

"Fucking Game, it's like COD's hitmarkers all over again!" Deadpool said frustrated enough to throw his phone out of the plane. But then he realized something…

"Where's Seras?" He asked, Alucard only smiled in response to his question. The scene changes and a coffin is shown with a voice coming from inside of it.

"Someone please open this thing…Someone help me!" Seras pleaded.

Once they arrived in the hotel suite they brought their 'luggage' which actually contained seras inside.

"Over here, over here." Pip said motioning with his hand, Deadpool was carrying the coffin using only one hand which amazed some people.

"You show-off." Pip said silently.

"So where does thing go?" Deadpool asked Pip. He realized Pip was looking at what Alucard was doing to that young red-headed male adult. It looked like Alucard hypnotized the poor bastard.

"It goes in the penthouse come on." Pip said following Alucard but maintaining a good distance from him.

Once they arrived and entered the penthouse Pip gazed at awe at the room. "They put me in 30$ a night motel and he and Deadpool get to stay here. The inquiety! Damn you bourgeoisie."

"Cheap hotels have their own charm." Alucard told him.

"Is that right?" Pip asked.

"I you vampires like to work in the night time so I'll just catch some Z's." Deadpool said finding the nearest couch and almost instantly falling asleep in it. He seems to do that a lot.

**6 Hours Later…**

"Wake up." Alucard said opening the coffin containing Seras.

"Good Morning." She responded.

"Get up. There's something interesting going on." Alucard told her. Seras got up and went to look out side the window and saw a chopper. Meanwhile Alucard worked on waking Deadpool up who only groaned and complained. He got up as well and approached the window Seras was looking out from.

"Finally! It's about time. Been waiting for some action." Deadpool said excited.

"Three armed terrorists killed several of the hotel employees and guests, they are holed up on the top floor. Having taken over a dozen people hostage." The news showed Pictures of Seras, Deadpool and Alucard showing Seras looking out the window, Alucard with his glowing red eyes and Deadpool giving the finger to the camera.

"Who's this?" Alexander questioned himself, looking at Deadpool's photo shown on Tv. "Hopefully we meet each other soon. Dance you freaks. Show me some hell."

Alucard suddenly began to laugh quietly at first but then he grew loud, and burst out laughing.

"That's right Deadpool. It's time for war." He said smiling somewhat crazy like.

The SWAT team were standing outside and and the leader gave a nod and busted the door open, Alucard was standing right in front of the team with Deadpool next to him. Deadpool yelled.

"I fucked your mother last night!" He said grinning.

The SWAT team began to relentlessly shoot Alucard and Deadpool until they were nothing but smithereens on the floor there were blood splatters everywhere on the walls and a almost never ending stream of blood came from the two 'dead bodies'. The guards began to walk away but stopped when they heard Alucard speak.

"You dogs…I see. You certainly pack a punch. However...dogs can't kill me. Only humans can kill monsters." He said his body regenerating from all the damage he just took. Deadpool's body was also healed but instead of fighting along with Alucard he sat back and with a bucket of popcorn, began to watch Alucard killing the SWAT mercilessly, with his suit slowly regenerating as well.

Alucard used his teeth and ripped off one the members neck splattering blood everywhere, the head rolled towards the SWAT team who began to run away in fear. He decapitated another member with his bare hands, cut another one in half organs dropping on the floor oozing out blood. A drop of blood landed on Deadpool's piece of Popcorn and ate it anyway. One of the surviving members tried to leave but the other team locked him inside with Alucard and Deadpool.

"It won't open." Alucard said holding a Dead body in his mouth, blood dripping everywhere on the floor.

"You're a monster!" The member yelled in terror dropping on the floor and meekly aimed his pistol at Alucard.

"So I've been told." He responded. "And what are you, who stands before me...a human? A dog? A monster?" The member couldn't take the pressure and shot himself on the head. Which shocked Alucard and made him furious. Deadpool began to laugh maniacally and didn't stop for a good minute.

"He killed himself?" He said trying to get oxygen into his lungs, He couldn't believe it, Deadpool knew that insulted Alucard in more than one way. Alucard glared at Deadpool with glowing red eyes, ready to slit Deadpool's throat.

"Oh come on, you know nothing you do scares me." Deadpool said grabbing a decapitated head and tossing it in the air and catching it, he repeated this process for a while. Seras slowly came out of her hiding spot and looked around the room.

"M-master…" She stuttered

"Seras prepare for battle." Alucard said his back turned to her.

"But…" She tried to respond.

"What's the matter? Get a move on."

"But...Master…they're humans." Seras said. Deadpool let out a small 'Ha' finding what she said funny.

"So what?" Alucard said

"They're Humans!" Seras yelled.

"And so what, Draculina!?" Alucard raised his voice, grabbing Seras' shirt and pulled her closer to him. "When someone's firing at you, it doesn't matter whether they're human or not. They came here simply to be killed, slaughtered, and sent to their graves where they can rot. That's all. That's all this is. There's no getting around it. It is the one truth, no one can deny...not god, the devil, or you!"

"But, even so, they…" Alucard realised he was still holding Seras and let her go, she fell on the floor not expecting him to let go so suddenly.

"That's just the way it is. They…" Alucard didn't finish.

"Master…" Seras said looking at him from the floor.

"Come on Seras, Follow me into the darkness, you little scared cat."

"Master…uh, yes!" Seras responded.

Deadpool saw Alucard flip out his phone and began talking to someone at one point he stopped talking into it and suddenly you can hear muffled yelling coming from the phone. Alucard began to a laugh and mentioned something about a 'Hard-On'.

(He dialed a sex line?)

"I don't know, but what I do know is that I'm bored out of my mind and I want to kill something!" Deadpool yelled directing it towards Alucard.

"Deadpool, if you want to handle the dogs outside please, be my guest." Alucard said turning towards him.

Suddenly the door to inside the room opened and out if it, was Deadpool casually strolling through the SWAT team.

"If you don't shoot, then I won't have to kill you guys, okay?" Deadpool said. They didn't pay attention to his warning and they began to shoot. Deadpool whipped out his swords and he began spinning them around his sides cutting every bullet coming at him, he changed the direction of some of the bullets hitting the SWAT members, half of the team began to flee as Deadpool started to slice through and shoot the members in the most brutal of ways spilling blood on the ceiling and walls.

A member yelled for everyone to get inside the elevator and they all rushed in pressing the button for the elevator to close, they managed to close it and everyone sighed in relief. One of the members removed his helmet and Deadpool was right inside the elevator with them.

"Surprise, I'm still here, the guy who was wearing this suit pissed himself! No seriously I can feel something warm…" The Squad began to yell in terror, Deadpool brought out two machine guns from his back and relentlessly shot the squad as the elevator door opened, bits and pieces of the squad were leftover nothing looked like it belonged to a human being.

"Oh man I enjoyed that! I guess it was a bit over kill…" Deadpool said.

"Finished?" Alucard asked.

"It's all yours Alucard." Deadpool said Leaning on a pillar that held the building. Alucard looked to his side and noticed the soldiers hiding in the darkness. His eyes turned a glowing blood red and he looked ready to kill.

_**That's chapter three! It's only been two chapters and I'm already holding out on you guys, I promise it won't take very long to update next time. This is DeadpooltheCat signing off, Peace!**_


End file.
